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FOR GOD’S SAKE, CUT THAT OUT

Censor Board's demands get more bizarre, as makers told to replace 'bhagwan' with 'uparwala' and the images of goddesses blurred out.

The Censor Board of Film Certification (CBFC), in particular its 'sanskari' chairperson, Pahlaj Nihalani, has the online community in a tizzy with its 'cuts', 'mutes' and 'alternatives'. After denying James Bond the licence to kiss in desi theatres (Mirror, November 19), the censors instructed the makers of the upcoming Hate Story 3 to replace the word 'bhagwan'.

According to a source, one of the leading men, Sharman Joshi, says in the film, "Uss bhagwan ko mein jeetne nahin doonga." The makers were told that the word 'bhagwan' might hurt the sentiments of a certain section of the audience. "They didn't argue but simply replaced 'bhagwan' with 'uparwala'," adds the source.

Interestingly, the makers of another film which also opens this Friday, Angry Indian Goddesses, were also asked to explain the use of the word 'goddess' in the title. "We pointed to the speeches of politicians in which the gathered audience is addressed as 'deviyon aur sajjanon', arguing that the 'devis' here, like in the film, were not 'goddesses' but 'revered Indian women'. Our logic convinced the members of the Revising Committee and the title was retained. But we had to blur out the images of the goddesses in the kitschy calendar art in the opening scene and also a poster of the goddess Kali," informs the film's producer Gaurav Dhingra.

Given how leery our censors have become about sex in recent times, the erotic content of Hate Story 3 also drew some frowns, in particular the word 'sambhog' which translates as 'sexual coupling' and was passed in the trailer. The argument given was that Karan Singh Grover's westernised character wouldn't use such erudite Hindi words.

"Again on the suggestion of certain Board members, 'sambhog' was replaced with 'milan' and 'bas***d' with 'rascal'," informs the source, adding that unlike the Bond makers who wanted a 'U/A' certificate, the makers of Hate Story 3 had applied for an 'A' certificate so they weren't asked to make any drastic changes which would alter the story or the screen life of a character.

However, it was an ordeal for Angry Indian Goddesses, Nalin's film on female bonding with the Examining Committee refusing to give an adult certification and offering no 'official' reason for their reluctance. Later, on the suggestion of an industry know-all, the makers voluntarily decided to mute out the cuss words before going to the Revising Committee.

At the end of that screening, thwet were handed a list of another 16 words that needed to be muted and told to incorporate two insertions, 'Smoking is injurious to health' and 'This is a work of fiction.' What's even more baffling for the makers is that the word 'sarkar' has been muted, as also 'adivasis'. In fact, 'adivasi' has been muted in one scene and has stayed in another.

"From 'orgasm' and 'dildo' to 'sexy', 'maal' and 'Indian figure' our ladies have lost their voice. There's a scene in which they're going out to lunch and a good-looking guy passes by, and one of the ladies says, tongue-in-cheek, 'Lunch to samne se aa raha hai.' The word 'lunch' has been muted in the sentence. A kiss has also been deleted and a love making scene shortened," says Gaurav who has sold his female buddy flick in 60 countries without a single cut and screened it at international film fests across the world, including the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), to standing ovations.

He couldn't afford to go to the Tribunal since that would have further delayed the film which was supposed to open on November 12. "We pushed it to November 27 and then December 4. Any more delay and I would've run out of my promotional budget and never been able to open in the country where the storys set and screen it for our primary audience," reasons Gaurav.
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